“Game of Thrones” Recap: 93 thoughts I had while watching ‘A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms’

Wow! We’re two episodes into the final season of “Game of Thrones” and it is absolutely DELIVERING. And we haven’t even gotten to the Battle of Winterfell yet!

This episode, “A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms” was the best episode since Season 6, and hands down the series’ funniest ever. Tormund was absolutely killing it.

For all the haters out there complaining that the season is “too slow,” you’re going to be begging for things to slow down about 30 minutes into next week’s episode. I was worried that this episode might end up just a “filler” until the battle next week, but it was packed full of character development and so many beautiful and heartbreaking farewells.

Anyway, here’s my literal stream of consciousness from Season 8, Episode 2: “A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms.”

1. Okay, the Night King’s blue path of death on the intro hasn’t gotten to Winterfell yet, but it looks like it’s headed straight there after decimating Last Hearth.
2. Looks like we’re getting right down to business with Jaime’s trial… okay. Tbh I think this is being overplayed in the teaser.
3. “One man, with one hand.” Dany with the early dunk.
4. Welp, there goes Tyrion continuing his losing streak… that didn’t take long.
5. Uh oh… is Bran gonna drop the truth bomb here?
6. Brienne to the rescue! She’s the real MVP. Shoutout to Sansa for trusting Brienne this much.
7. Dany is not a fan of getting overruled 2 to 1… doesn’t bode well for any potential shared ruling with Jon if anybody survives…
8. Jon giving Dany the cold shoulder… She knows something is up. The truth is coming out tonight!
9. Damn, Dany STAYS dunking on Tyrion. “I’ll find another hand who can.”
10. Give me ALL the Arya-Gendry flirting because I am HERE FOR IT.
11. Omg that raised eyebrow, yes Maisie. A true flirtation queen.
12. Lol… Gendry is trying to get Arya to hide in the Crypt. Do you know who you’re talking to, buddy?
13. The I know death monologue from the trailer… Iconic. Arya is quickly cementing herself as top Stark. Sorry, Jon (If you even count anymore).
14. Jaime: “Why didn’t you tell them?” Bran: “You won’t be able to help us in this fight if I let them murder you first.” truuuuu…
15. Tyrion has gotta by Least Valuable Player so far this season… Got played by Cersei, gonna end up being wrong about Dany as a worthy queen. Sansa was right, he used to be the smartest in the realm.
16. So according to Jaime, Cersei is actually pregnant? Hmmm… The jury is still out on that one.
17. “She never fooled you. You always knew exactly what she was and you loved her anyway.” Tyrion keeping it 100 and trying to earn some point back with that quote.
18. Love the belly full of wine and mouth around my cock callback. Glad Jaime caught on too.
19. “At least Cersei won’t get to murder me. Maybe after I’m dead I’ll march down to King’s Landing and rip her apart.” +2 for Tyrion
20. Jaime got them eyes for Brienne. Better make sure Tormund isn’t around…
21. OKAY POD! He’s been slinging that dick now he’s finally slinging the sword too!
22. The tension between these two is palpable. Ugh, I love them. But also Tormund. Love triangle babayyyyy.
23. Omg both pieces of Ned’s Valyrian steel sword, Ice, are back in Winterfell!
24. “I’d be honored to serve under your command.” – Jaime to Brienne. MY HEART.
25. Dany is really going psycho… You’re telling the man who betrayed you that you can’t forgive someone for trusting the wrong person???
26. Can we please cut the tension here and let these ladies team up?
27. Sansa isn’t backing down from Dany, I like it.
28. “We’ve both known what it’s like to lead people who aren’t inclined to accept a woman’s rule. And we’ve both done a damn good job of it from what I can tell.” Yesssss, SQUASH THE BEEF DANY.
29. I mean, valid point, Dany, but I feel like you shouldn’t really need to be “manipulated” to fight the army of the undead.
30. STOP DUNKING ON JON. I KNOW HE’S SHORT AND IT’S EASY BUT DAMN.
31. Come on Dany, just offer Sansa the North, like wtf. It’s not that hard.
32. GTFO MAESTER WOLKAN!!!! We’re in the middle of something!!!!!
33. I was so down for this alliance right here, why can’t they just agree. UGH.
34. Dany actually looks concerned Yara isn’t there.
35. Dany really doesn’t have any true allies here except Jon, and even that’s fading. She looks genuinely hurt when Theon turns to Sansa and says he wants to fight for her and Winterfell.
36. Shoutout to the Onion Knight on cafeteria duty!!!
37. That’s right. That’s the former deputy director of the CIA, folks.
38. ARE THE CRYPTS THE SAFEST PLACE, GILLY?!
39. Ugh, my heart… the Shireen parallels are TOO much. Not just for Davos, but Gilly too! Don’t forget Shireen taught her how to read.
40. “Alright. I’ll defend the crypt, then.” – Not Shireen. I don’t know if Davos is cutting onions or if I’m just really in my feelings over here. Definitely the latter.
41. Tormund with the bear hug. What a guy.
42. “THE BIG WOMAN STILL HERE?” A top five all-time Thrones quote.
43. Okay, time for Jon’s dramatic monologue and the training montage.
44. Where are the dragons? Just imagine if they picked a really inconvenient time to go off and hunt lmao.
45. So if there was any doubt, Bran is the Night King’s target.
46. Thank you, Sam, for finally being the first person to question anything Bran says.
47. Second the crypts are the safest line, like, come ON y’all.
48. I mean, I respect the offer, Theon, but like… any other options? Gotta protect your best assets.
49. Tyrion getting dunked on a little bit being sent to the crypts, but we all know that’s what’s best. Shoutout to Dany for finally taking someone else’s advice, though.
50. So the dragons are gonna be protecting Bran, too? How are you going to lure the Night King with two full grown dragons lurking behind him?
51. Jon with the cold shoulder again… Dany knows something is up.
52. How is Tyrion the first person to ask Bran literally any questions about himself?
53. Aaaaaaaand we immediately cut away.
54. Welp… There’s Grey Worm’s death sentence.
55. GHOST IS BACK! But I feel kind of cheated… no reunion, no acknowledgment, and I’m pretty sure that’s just a normal husky lol.
56. Sam out here trying to pump Jon up to tell Dany.
57. THIRD (!!!!) “they’ll be safe in the Crypt” reference.
58. Stop dunking on Sam :/
59. Nothing like a little pre-battle with death drinking circle!
60. Shoutout to Tyrion for the heavy pour. Getting back to his roots. +3
61. Yeah, let’s all get hammered and then fight the biggest battle of our lives.
62. TORMUND is SHOOTING HIS SHOT.
63. “They call me Giantsbane… want to know why?” – Daddy Tormund
64. Everyone is like wtf is going on please stop hahaha. Amazing.
65. Omfg the drink all down his front. My guy is on fire!
66. A touching little moment between The Hound and Arya “I fought for you, didn’t I?”
67. Aaaaaaand Beric ruined it… C’mon man, we’re trying to have a moment here. Arya literally just gets up and leaves when he gets there.
68. Arya isn’t spending her final hours with them BECAUSE SHE NEEDS TO FIND GENDRY!
69. Omg, the weapon is a staff, just like she trained with in Bravos. I hope there are Waif Wights.
70. “Was that your first time?” Hahaha Arya doesn’t give a damn about Robert Baratheon, the Red Woman or leeches, she needs to know if my man is clean!
71. She’s a jealous girlfriend and I love it.
72. “I didn’t keep count.” “Yes you did.” Called out!
73. OMG YES, IT’S HAPPENING!!!!
74. Y’all need to chill. Maisie is 22, not 14 lol.
75. “I’m not the Red Woman, take your own bloody pants off.” – Arya, GOAT.
76. “Fuck tradition.” Tormund is so wholesome trying to honor Brienne, but tbh he’s right. It’s the end of the world, who cares about tradition?
77. Brienne says she doesn’t even want to be a knight, but Jaime knows how she’s wanted it for so long. So many feels.
78. Look at the way Jaime and Brienne look at each other! It’s so clear they’re in love.
79. Get you a man who supports you unconditionally like Tormund!
80. Lol at Jorah trying to convince Lyanna to hide in the crypts… does he know who he’s talking to?
81. “I wish you good fortune, cousin.” Welp, there’s Jorah’s death sentence.
82. “I’ll see you when it’s through.” Yup, go ahead and double down on Jorah, folks.
83. God I hope Tormund sings a song.
84. Pod with the pipes!
85. Are Sansa and Theon making eyes at each other…?
86. Arya basking in the glorious aftermath.
87. There’s that passionate Grey Worm-Missandei kiss we’ve been waiting for!
88. Oh god, here it goes… Jon and Dany. In front of Lyanna’s statue!
89. Dany is literally throwing Jon the alley-oop to dunk on here right now.
90. Dany is not taking this very well… again, doesn’t bode well for her. I feel like she’s gonna end up being the final villain.
91. Jon, just tell her you don’t want the Iron Throne! And don’t you tell me he does! My guy has never wanted a position of power.
92. Ugh… saved by the horn. Put this conversation on pause.
93. They’re here…